"It's easy to get lost in the past,
which you can't change anyway,
or to get lost hoping for the future,
which is not yet here.
If you do that, it's like you're not really alive."
Then she paused and looked at me, her eyes shining, and said "I choose life."
"Faith, Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience" by Sharon Salzberg, p.15
Mindfulness Based Practices
Live in Acceptance Instead of Fear
For most of us, when life
feels out of control our fear-based reaction is to fight, flee or freeze. When fear dominates, our sense of
possibility disappears, we withdraw and we are restricted even within our
closest relationships. At times,
we pull back so much that we end up feeling separate from our own inner truth,
wisdom and heart. Unfortunately,
these fear-based efforts to protect ourselves actually prevent us from dealing
with difficult situations effectively, or worse they escalate conflict leaving
us in even more distress. It takes
intention, and effort, to overcome our impulses to withdraw from painful
experiences. Mindful practices
help us recognize, and accept, our inner experiences without shutting down,
running away or freezing. It is
when we stand in awareness and acceptance that we are able to turn toward our painful experiences and
find a wise path through them.
Utilize Your Bodies Wisdom
When we turn our attention to
our senses and intuition we tap into a limitless potential for expansion and
engagement.
We experience our lives
through our bodies whether we are aware of it or not. Yet we are usually so mesmerized by our ideas about the
world that we miss out on much of our direct sensory experience. Even when we are aware of feeling a
strong breeze, the sound of rain on the roof, a fragrance in the air, we rarely
remain with the experience long enough to inhabit it fully. In most moments we have an overlay of
inner dialogue that comments on what is happening and plans what we might do next.
-Sharon Salzberg
Past, Present or Future?
I have often wished I could invent a scale that would measure how much time we are spending in the past or future, versus the present. Close your eyes and imagine what this scale would show you.
Are you falling backwards into the past
leaning forwards into the future
or balanced in the present moment?
If you are like most of us, you are spending far more time ruminating about the past, worrying about the future, or adrift in whatever preoccupies your mind, than you are being in the present.
To spend more time standing upright, take time out on a regular basis to engage in mindfulness activities:
- When you brush your teeth, keep your full attention on each stroke, swish and sensation related to this activity.
- Another technique is to simply stop what you are doing and focus your attention on your surroundings, becoming aware of all the sensory details --- color, air temperature, texture, sound, rhythm ...
- Visualize yourself walking the teeter totter of time. Aim to keep more of your energy and focus in the here and now, instead of on what has already happened, or what you imagine might happen.
Breathe
A soothing presence, and constant companion, that is both underrated and underutilized. Our breathe is deeply connected to our quality of life and, if followed, leads to feelings of well being.
Breath is a powerful resource that is readily available, but when we are tense, stressed, anxious, or afraid, our muscles constrict and we take shallow breaths instead of full ones. Shallow breathing ends up depleting our brains of oxygen which in turn triggers a stress response.
Resetting our brains, along with the central nervous system, is simple-
three deep inhales while attending to the feeling of breath entering your body,
while thinking "breathing in, I calm my body."
followed by-
three deep exhales while attending to the feeling of breath leaving your body, while thinking "breathing out, I calm my mind."
Try it frequently throughout your day, and enjoy a little cleansing brain-shower that will rejuvenate your mind and body.
Perspective Shift
"Sometimes all the change we need
is to see things from a different perspective."
-Anonymous client
At times, we can do this on our own. Sometimes, a friend, a group, or a book can help us see things just a little differently. If you are already employing these strategies, and are still having trouble shifting your thoughts or feelings about something, therapy may be of great benefit to you.
Meditate
Don't know how? Click on the links to download instructions for a few different types of meditation practices that help calm the mind and open the heart. In addition, there are many meditation centers that offer instructions on how to meditate.
Visit your local Vipassana (Insight) Meditation Center's website to learn more about meditation, resources, groups, workshops and much more.
Other Resources & Information
Tanya T. Wiser, LCSW
license #17621
Phone: (650) 269-8126
